Golden and Noble Works

"A wife too should regard her duties in the same light, as she suckles the child, rocks and bathes it, and cares for it in other ways; and as she busies herself with other duties and renders help and obedience to her husband. These are truly golden and noble works. This is also how to comfort and encourage a woman in the pangs of childbirth, not by repeating St Margaret legends and other silly old wives’ tales but by speaking thus, “Dear Grete, remember that you are a woman, and that this work of God in you is pleasing to him. Trust joyfully in his will, and let him have his way with you. Work with all your might to bring forth the child. Should it mean your death, then depart happily, for you will die in a noble deed and in subservience to God. If you were not a woman you should now wish to be one for the sake of this very work alone, that you might thus gloriously suffer and even die in the performance of God’s work and will. For here you have the word of God, who so created you and implanted within you this extremity.” Tell me, is not this indeed (as Solomon says [Prov. 18:22]) “to obtain favour from the Lord,” even in the midst of such extremity?

Now you tell me, when a father goes ahead and washes diapers or performs some other mean task for his child, and someone ridicules him as an effeminate fool, though that father is acting in the spirit just described and in Christian faith, my dear fellow you tell me, which of the two is most keenly ridiculing the other? God, with all his angels and creatures, is smiling, not because that father is washing diapers, but because he is doing so in Christian faith. Those who sneer at him and see only the task but not the faith are ridiculing God with all his creatures, as the biggest fool on earth. Indeed, they are only ridiculing themselves; with all their cleverness they are nothing but devil’s fools."

-Martin Luther from The Estate of Marriage 1522

So So Great

One of the blogs I read is having a contest to see who has the best response to the comment bellow. One of the readers (a mother of 4) entered this list. I had to share them or remember them for myself really. She writes: "The first is my favorite, although I've never had the guts to actually say it."

"Wow, you sure have your hands full!"

1. "Yes, I do. But making children is so much fun!"

2. "Better than empty!"

3. "Not at all, you see, a handful is 5. Times that by 2 hands and that's 10. I only have 4. Then of course, my husband is a big help and he has two hands as well..."

4. "I have lots of help from my 3 children. Many hands make light work!"

5. "My children are not a burden, in fact the Bible calls them blessings."

6. "Praise be to God that He has filled them!"

7. "We only have 4! How many more do you think I could have before menopause?"

8. "Oh, this is just our 'starter kit'"

9. "Well, when you have kids a beautiful as mine, how can you resists?"

10. "Did you know there is a woman in Arkansas with 19 children?"

And here's the clincher that I would never use, but sometimes I really really want to.

11. "I'm working hard to make up for all of the kids that abortion has killed."

My favorite is #2 or "I'm thankful that God has filled them!" would be a nice response. I have actually used #9!

Honestly I'm not too bothered by this comment, it's a true statement in many ways . But there are several others that Phil and I get that I am bothered by and would like a better response to, for example the "You know how this keeps happening don't you?" variety of comments. Grrr.

And while I'm on the subject of unnecessary comments the one that infuriates Phil and confuses me is the one we get over and over during each of my pregnancies, when inquiring about the sex of the child we hear "Oh it doesn't matter right as long as they're healthy!". I just don't think people think about what they're saying when they say this. Would we not want our child if he or she wasn't healthy? Healthy or not healthy, God would still have blessed us with a child. So PLEASE don't ever say this to anyone!

Assaulting Thoughts

From evlogia

Logismoi

Why is it that women in general, and mothers in particular, seem especially prone to battling negative thoughts?

Logismoi. It is a spiritual battle, you know?

The types of thoughts are legion, but it seems to me that mothers battle these thoughts more than others.

Read more here

She shall be saved in childbearing...

The Treasure Hunt

post from Evlogia

As a mother of many children, attending the divine services is a matter of constant movement. Arms rarely empty, I cannot recollect ending a service in the same spot as which I began. Long ago I abandoned the naively willful notion that equates the distractions of caring for my young with lost opportunities of grace. Quite the contrary. A will pruned by repeated cuttings bears far more fruit than one at rest in external peace and quiet. She shall be saved in childbearing.

She shall receive the opportunity to live for another.

Read more HERE

Messy Reality of Life With Little People

I found an interesting article here on our culture that seems to be becoming more "purposely 'child-free'".

I especially like this quote toward the end:

Given the nature of real life and real children, this perfect parenthood experience eludes even the most prepared among us. Yet the expectation endures, alongside our cultural assumption that fulfillment lies in maximizing pleasure and minimizing pain. The result is a growing number of adults for whom the perfect time to have children never arrives.

Childless adults miss the drudgery of parenting: the 3 a.m. wake-up calls, the terrible twos, the tantrums in stores, diaper disasters and teenage angst. They also miss those breathtaking moments that sneak up on parents amid the daily grind: the surprise of that first smile, the thrill of those first steps, the wonder of realizing that this little person has captured your heart in a way that will leave you forever changed, and that despite the trail of chaos he has cut through your once-orderly existence, you cannot fathom life without him.

Those moments sound trite to skeptics and count for little in a cost-benefit analysis. But for those who trade their fantasies of perfect parenthood for the messy reality of life with little people, the mystery unveiled in those moments — that genuine joy springs from sacrifice — makes it all worthwhile.

Very well said! Tis very true, little people are not easy to raise but is it worth it? Yes. Does it please God? Yes. Yes, there are days when I don't know how I'm gonna make it through. When everything is a fight with Lily and at times even Clara. Days when bed time can't come soon enough. When I feel like (ok, know that) my brain and body have turned to mush and all I know how to do now is wash diapers, dishes and spaghetti faces and suddenly one of my babies will melt my heart, make me so proud or give me such a laugh and I realize that those are the things that matter.

Those are moments God has given just to me by giving me these particular children to raise and I would never have known these moments if I had "decided" not to carry them, bare them and raise them. How could I have ever said "No" to all this? And truly even if these wonderful moments don't occur God still gives children to parents and because He does it is still good, meaningful and worthwhile to bring them into the world and raise them.

Preserving a Christian Home III

Read Bible Stories to your children, sing hymns and pray with them.
Ever since I have attended college I have observed children of pastors, church workers, and Lutheran school graduates that weren’t interested in talking theology. Indeed, I observed they didn't know much theology. Quite often the children would know the church politics and gossip more than they did about what the Bible taught. This is nothing new. Laache: Book of Family Prayer was published 1884. The first week of Epiphany, Laache urges parents to pray for their children. He points out it is so sad when we observe children of Christian parents leave the faith. Laache asserts that the parents did not faithfully pray for them. This is one reason I am so keen in talking theology with my children. So I urge parents as well to teach and sing hymns and pray with their children. This is also talking theology.

God rewards parents who read and teach their children to treasure God’s Word. Your children learn to talk theology, especially with you. This gives them confidence in God’s Word. God wants all His children to turn to Him in everyway. When children see their parents humble themselves under God’s Word and tender care, the reward is great. . Only God’s Word and the Sacraments can give this confidence. The Marks of the Church. The B-I-B-L-E. The Preached Word. Holy Baptism. The Lord’s Supper. That is all we have to offer our children and it is our duty to do it and be confident that God will be faithful in what He has offered for us to give to our children. Hymns are prayers to God. These hymns keep us mindful of what God has done for us in Jesus and we pray with thankfulness and for strength. Pray for your children.

Preserving a Christian Home by Dorothy Preus

Preserving a Christian Home II

God gave these children to mothers and fathers to care and nurture. It is not anybody else's responsibility. It is so easy in this world to think that somebody else is going to teach skills, religion, and anything else that needs to be for the children. There is an expert for everything and for everyone!!! The church has unwittingly failed to respect and encourage parents in their role for their children. We have Sunday schools to teach Bible stories to the children. This is good. Are the parents teaching Bible stories to them at home? Are the parents attending Bible class while the children are in Sunday school? In everything parents do and say, they are teaching their children.

Parents should not abdicate their responsibilities in teaching their children the Word of God. Our culture is suffering from a couple of generations or more where parents have abdicated their responsibilities for their children to the state, church, and school, public or private. Our churches should be bursting at the seams and busy setting up mission churches all over the world because the children have been taught the way of salvation. But sadly, the children have not always learned the Law and the Gospel. The children have not had impressed upon them that the church is there to provide the forgiveness of sins in the Word and Sacraments. So they have left the church, or have gone to a "feel good" church. After all they sing those fun songs too. It makes them feel good. What have they been taught? Self-esteem or humility? Were they taught sin, repentance, and Jesus' blood on the cross for sinners?

Preserving a Christian Home by Dorothy Preus

Preserving a Christian Home

"As mothers we want to see all of our children in heaven. We can't store up our treasures for heaven, but our children are the only treasures God gives us that we can hope to have in heaven with us. We know this because Jesus treasures children. When we teach our children that the church is there to nourish their faith, to provide forgiveness for their sins, to give comfort in sorrow, to give them peace with God, and to give joy beyond all understanding, we are teaching them the church is home for the Christian this side of heaven."

PRESERVING A CHRISTIAN HOME by Dorothy Preus

Another Good Find

"8 Things People Never Tell You About Having Kids"

Find them here!

Wo-"Man In the Mirror"

I thought I'd share this post from a blog I follow called "Heart of my Husband". I certainly needed to hear it!

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Your own precious mirror

I have a very dear friend, due to give birth to her 6th child, who has taught me nearly everything I know about parenting, childbirth, housekeeping, cooking...OK basically everything about being a wife and mother.

You know those friends that you don't realize just how vital they are to your life until you have to leave them? Oh, I always knew she was special and important, but when she came for a visit in December and ended up being here playing mommy while I was in the hospital, I was reminded of just how amazing this person is.

So just this morning I was reminded of one of the best things she ever taught me about parenting. Well, I suppose it really began a few weeks ago.

The house was a mess and I was grouchy. After hurrying through several chores and ordering the kids around to certain messes, I told my eldest to pick up a pile of toys. He looked up at me, not in laziness or rebellion, and asked sweetly, "Mommy? Will you help me?" "No son, you made the mess so you will clean it up!" I said proudly, thinking, that will teach him to leave a mess! ha. Well, as my dear friend tried to teach me, your children become the best mirror of yourself.

Where had I gone wrong? Suddenly my kids were being rude to each other, not helping one another, and being generally grouchy. I disciplined them but they grew grouchier and whinier...it was every man for himself.

Then, last week, once again, I was telling my eldest to pick up and he again (though somewhat sadly this time) said, "Mommy? Will you help me?" I began to say my old line (which was really me being lazy and proud) and then halted in my tracks...this was the very attitude I had been seeing in my own kids. I stood silently for a moment as my son stared up at me and said, humbled, "sure son, I'd be glad to help you!" I knelt down with the baby in my arms and helped him pick up. He was overjoyed.

Today the children and I were mopping the kitchen floor by hand, each with our own spray bottles and rags, and my eldest asked his little brother to pick up a mess that he (the little one) had made. The little one set about clumsily to do what his big brother had asked and I heard my eldest say, "Here, I'd be glad to help you brother!"

Do you see attitudes in your children that you do not like? Are they lazy, rude, quarrelsome? Perhaps, mama, the best place to look is in the mirror. I can only say this because I myself am guilty of it. Take your day moment by moment and try to smile more, delight in them more, and offer a helping hand. You will reap your reward in their own little hearts and they will become your own precious mirror.

Thank you dear friend for all you have been to my family. If not for your friendship, my grouchy children would have one frustrated and angry mama. I miss you!

Bye Bye Dollies?

I came across two very interesting articles today. As a big "baby doll" lover for many many years I find this news pretty sad.

http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/blogs/sfmoms/index?blogid=46

http://www.philly.com/inquirer/magazine/89579552.html

Good Read.

Here is a very good article on raising children by Pastor Rolf Preus. He raised 12 children of his own so he's probably a good authority on the subject!

You'll find it at the bottom of this page. It's titled: Childrearing

http://www.christforus.org/Papers/preuspapers.html