Mercy

Many days feel like a downward spiral into sin, sin and more sin. My failings as a wife and mother are always in my face and if I stop to take a closer look at things I'm easily overwhelmed with the immensity of how awful I am. I thought for a while that if I could just read my bible more, pray more, be alone for a while or have the chance to go to a bible study around other Christians that I would somehow do better. Better at controlling my temper, have more patience with my babies, not complain and pout as much, be less negative. Of course I knew that as poor miserable sinners we can't "do better" and will always struggle with sin, but at least maybe we could do a little less sinning right? Well, no. I'm not sure that it works that way. I realized over the last couple of weeks that all I can do is repent daily. Repent to the Lord, repent to my husband and even repent to my children. That's all I got. Daily repentance and contrition as our Catechism instructs. I think I'm finally getting it.

I've felt very overwhelmed with the responsibilities I've been given. I have many anxieties about how I will "successfully" care for my three children, keep the house relatively clean and straight, keep meals on the table at the right times and be the loving supportive wife I want to be. With all this weight on my shoulders I feel helpless at times. Some days I'm good. I have a better outlook, I know to take care of priorities and let other things go. I also have huge help right now with my mom being here. I have yet to see what life will be like once she's not here, washing, changing, feeding, cooking, cleaning for me. But I'm also beginning to learn that I MUST take one day at a time. Christ says "Let tomorrow worry about itself. Today has enough trouble of it's own." Get what you can get done today, tomorrow will be another day to get another thing done. And the days that I feel so totally overwhelmed I have to be reminded that none of this is permanent. My babies will NOT be babies forever. They will at some point sleep most or all of the night, they will be able to clean up after themselves, they will get out of diapers , they will be able to feed themselves and play in the back yard alone. And one day I will have a quiet and empty house. I will have "time for myself". And I will I'm sure miss some of this current "chaos".

I was happy to find this post a mother of 6 wrote on one of the verses that often comes to my mind and I'm beginning to understand, "She shall be saved in childbearing." 1 timothy 2:15. In other words, she shall have to fiercely hang to Christ's promises of salvation when she feels salvation is far from her, she shall daily have to die to her own desires, she shall daily have to live for others. The flesh that is this frustrated and the soul that is this desperate for Christ's forgiveness can only be saved. Finding no help in myself, no strength, I have to turn to Christ. And He is always there to give me this help and strength. Honestly there are days I don't feel that He's given me enough but then there are times of clarity that I look back and can see that yes, He did. I made it through. My husband gave a sermon this Sunday that gave me comfort. Reminding me that faith is in things not seen. If we could see the things hoped for we would not need faith. I have faith that Christ will take me to His heaven, that my children will be cared for by His loving hand one way or another, and that I will get along day after day with His provision even when I can't see how.

Though I don't want to "just make it through". Some days are just gonna be that way I know but one of the reasons I began to blog was to write down the moments that I love about being a wife and mother. To remember the days that are wonderful, the priceless gifts I receive through my babies. I want to remember these moments more often. I want to be patient more often. I want to pray more often. It is God's will that I do so He will help me. I just can't expect that I will want to and certainly that I will be able to do it on my own. I was encouraged to read this from evlogia:

A mother must be creative in prayer. Taking utter chaos and through it, by God's grace, affecting the order of her heart. Nights of nursing become opportunities to keep vigil. Mealtime interruptions, serving a hungry child, become moments to fast. Overflowing baskets of laundry become concrete reminders to pray for each family member, as each article of clothing is folded and put away. Little ways to capture the grace of the smallest, most ordinary moments. The art of motherhood.

Instead of beating myself up for not making time to pray I could find times to pray throughout the day.

Again from evlogia: The search for quiet has long been abandoned and I now listen amid the noise, creatively searching for any opportunity to catch a brief moment of grace. Within the clamor, the quiet of God's voice resonates clearly in the heart, but only when the noise of my complaining ceases.

I must remember that my salvation and standing with God doesn't depend on what I do or how close I feel to Him. He is always faithful to me and His promises of forgiveness, life and salvation will be kept. I'm doing what He has called me to do. I must trust that while I've got my hands deep in Teddy Grahams and my head in dirty diaper pails He will do what He has promised and preserve me in the one true faith. The days get long and I get very hateful in my heart at times but I know He's always ready to forgive and each Sunday I hear His words of forgiveness even while a wiggly whiny baby makes it hard. We mamas can only hope and trust that His words are true and do what He says they do even when we feel like Polly Pagan. That's what we are apart from Him anyway, lost, condemned, utterly helpless, there's no use fooling ourselves into thinking otherwise. So we cry, "Lord have mercy".

Assaulting Thoughts

From evlogia

Logismoi

Why is it that women in general, and mothers in particular, seem especially prone to battling negative thoughts?

Logismoi. It is a spiritual battle, you know?

The types of thoughts are legion, but it seems to me that mothers battle these thoughts more than others.

Read more here

She shall be saved in childbearing...

The Treasure Hunt

post from Evlogia

As a mother of many children, attending the divine services is a matter of constant movement. Arms rarely empty, I cannot recollect ending a service in the same spot as which I began. Long ago I abandoned the naively willful notion that equates the distractions of caring for my young with lost opportunities of grace. Quite the contrary. A will pruned by repeated cuttings bears far more fruit than one at rest in external peace and quiet. She shall be saved in childbearing.

She shall receive the opportunity to live for another.

Read more HERE

Messy Reality of Life With Little People

I found an interesting article here on our culture that seems to be becoming more "purposely 'child-free'".

I especially like this quote toward the end:

Given the nature of real life and real children, this perfect parenthood experience eludes even the most prepared among us. Yet the expectation endures, alongside our cultural assumption that fulfillment lies in maximizing pleasure and minimizing pain. The result is a growing number of adults for whom the perfect time to have children never arrives.

Childless adults miss the drudgery of parenting: the 3 a.m. wake-up calls, the terrible twos, the tantrums in stores, diaper disasters and teenage angst. They also miss those breathtaking moments that sneak up on parents amid the daily grind: the surprise of that first smile, the thrill of those first steps, the wonder of realizing that this little person has captured your heart in a way that will leave you forever changed, and that despite the trail of chaos he has cut through your once-orderly existence, you cannot fathom life without him.

Those moments sound trite to skeptics and count for little in a cost-benefit analysis. But for those who trade their fantasies of perfect parenthood for the messy reality of life with little people, the mystery unveiled in those moments — that genuine joy springs from sacrifice — makes it all worthwhile.

Very well said! Tis very true, little people are not easy to raise but is it worth it? Yes. Does it please God? Yes. Yes, there are days when I don't know how I'm gonna make it through. When everything is a fight with Lily and at times even Clara. Days when bed time can't come soon enough. When I feel like (ok, know that) my brain and body have turned to mush and all I know how to do now is wash diapers, dishes and spaghetti faces and suddenly one of my babies will melt my heart, make me so proud or give me such a laugh and I realize that those are the things that matter.

Those are moments God has given just to me by giving me these particular children to raise and I would never have known these moments if I had "decided" not to carry them, bare them and raise them. How could I have ever said "No" to all this? And truly even if these wonderful moments don't occur God still gives children to parents and because He does it is still good, meaningful and worthwhile to bring them into the world and raise them.

Big Sister

Lily and Tummy Baby G, August 2010

It seems like so long ago that this little girl was a baby herself about to be a big sister for the first time!

Baby Lily and Tummy Clara, May 2009

The Importance of Being Feminine

It's important to take special care to maintain femininity. Especially in our culture which seems to be doing away with all distinctions of gender. I don't want my girls to ever fall for the lies the world has to offer on this issue. Men and women are different. Women can't do anything a man can do. And this isn't just ok, it's very good. It's God's wonderful design, He has created a divine order whether we like it or not. I want my daughters to like it.

I want them to be certain that God made them little women and to seek to please Him in their "womaness". I want them to enjoy being little girls for as long as they can then become the little ladies, the little women, that God in His goodness has made them. I want them to look forward to the rewards that God gives only to women and may someday give to them; submitting to their husbands, bearing and raising children, taking care of their home by making it a place of love, cleanliness, order, kindness and simple pleasures.

I want them to be feminine in the ways they behave, dress and speak, with modesty and politeness. Even if they grow up only wanting to play baseball, skinning their knees and hating baths, I still expect their character to be of godly ladies.

Of course I know all of this begins with ME! So it is my goal to be more aware of my own gifts of femininity, guard them and demonstrate them to my little ladies. Many of these gifts come so naturally to us women, we don't even think about them but some are so maimed with our sin we can be very careless in neglecting them or even denying them.

There are so many simple things I can do to begin teaching the girls the delights of womanhood. I'll admit some are not so simple, it's not always easy to submit, to "love" being pregnant, enjoy rearing children or keeping a clean home, and everyone at our house knows how much I love frumpy stained t-shirts and sweatpants, but I want to do a better job at emphasizing the joys over the burdens and the beauty over the blah.

"Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight. For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to make themselves beautiful." 1 Peter 3

Preserving a Christian Home

"As mothers we want to see all of our children in heaven. We can't store up our treasures for heaven, but our children are the only treasures God gives us that we can hope to have in heaven with us. We know this because Jesus treasures children. When we teach our children that the church is there to nourish their faith, to provide forgiveness for their sins, to give comfort in sorrow, to give them peace with God, and to give joy beyond all understanding, we are teaching them the church is home for the Christian this side of heaven."

PRESERVING A CHRISTIAN HOME by Dorothy Preus

Terrific "Twos"

Ok, age 19 months has it's definite downs as i'm sure will the next couple of years (ok 18-50 years) but there are SO many things about this age that are too sweet and wonderful not to love!

It's so fun to see Lily learning and discovering new things. It's fun to watch her play and see her imagination being to grow. I love her little enthusiastic "hi"s when I get her out of bed and how serious she gets when she "talks on the phone". I turned to see her leaning on the oven with her feet crossed the other day just talking away with her little lips pooched out and I saw my baby 15 years from now! Everyone says that time will be here before I know it. As much as I can't wait to see Lily grow and change, sometimes I want to stop the years so she stays just like this, my sweet funny little 19 month old fumbling with her spoon, her socks and every word.

Lists, so I don't forget

First little words:
"booyah!" - blueberries
"no-s" - snow
"pease"- please
"bah" - ball
"off", "uh-oh" (a favorite),
"mmm"- more
"oh" - a show
"nigh-nigh"
"BYEEE!" (must be shouted)
"hi"
"CaCa" - Clara
"no" (another favorite)
"mama" - "help"
still signing "thank you", "milk" and sometimes "more"
hmm, I know there are more....

What Lily loves to eat these days:
frosting, pancakes, waffles, spaghetti, macncheese, vitamins, blueberries, oranges, chocolate chips, corn
Meat and all other Veggies are still a no go unless they come pureed in a baby food jar and Clara has eaten some.

What fun it is to:
put on pants, read books by herself, take clothes on and off hangers, watch "ohs" shows (Baby Einstein and Kipper), knock on doors, look at our hymnal,

How Lily helps Mama sometimes:
put dishes away, "folds" laundry, get things for clara,

The things you don't do anymore:
"oh" when we hear the town whistle
scoot on your bottom of course

To Lily Ruth:

Lily, in another week you'll be 20 months old! That means 4 months away from being 2! For almost 20 months you've filled my life with laughter, joy, pride, worry and precious moments. Daddy and I can see your personality growing and changing. I thought you'd be so shy and though you still scowl at strangers, you've become so friendly. I'm amazed to see you indiscriminately go to someone you don't know at all and sit happily on their lap. You make so many people smile and bring cheer to everyone you're around. Well, except some men, who for some reason only you know, are scary.

You love routine and the familiar. "Quiet Time" and bed time have been so easy with you. You eagerly get ready to get in your bed. I think this is one of your favorite places right now even if it's just to read your books or play with your blanket.

You like trying to dress yourself and are quick to ask Mama for help. "Mama" you say. Daddy is worried you'll always say "mama" instead of "help" and that's my fault since months ago I taught you to say "mama" when you needed help instead of crying or yelling like you used to do. Oh well.

You are still a very picky eater. You don't even want meat to touch your high chair tray. If we put it there you hand it right back to us. I think you'll be a little stubborn! You definitely know what you like to eat and most of it is very sweet! You've gotten 8 teeth now. Still just two little ones on the bottom and some big old molars in the back and four on top. I love to see those little bottom teeth when you make your hammed up grin face!

You love your baby sister Clara, sometimes a little too much! You two are already best buddies! It warms me all up inside when I find the two of you playing and laughing together in your room or on a blanket in the living room. You can be very nice to her, you share or find her a toy when she clearly wants what you have. You bring her a bottle when she cries and pat her bottom like Mama does and you love to tell her "no!" when she's being naughty. You pat the floor or the crib when you want me to put her next to you and I know if you wake up crying from a nap I can just bring Clara with me to get you and you'll smile right away.

I can hardly believe you'll be a two year old so soon! What a fun year that will be! You're a precious gift to me and Daddy. I love watching the little girl you're becoming and know some day soon you'll be a helpful, kind and delightful young woman.

Trials!

This has been a very trying and tiring month for this mama. Besides the cold, foggy, icy, snowy, cloudy long days the girls have been going through some rather unpleasant changes. Clara, now 7 months, is taking less naps, 1-2 a day sometimes 3 and needs a quiet place to do so which with Lily is very difficult to find. She went through a couple weeks where she was up until 10 or 10:30 which made for even longer days and is in the habit of waking at 3 or 4 in the morning then again at 7:30 or 7. Which could be worse I know, I just haven't figured out what to do with her since I don't want her to stay in her bed in the room with Lily crying as loud as she does. I've continued to move her out into the living room into the swing and give her a pacifier which she's happy with, but she completely fills that swing up and is really beginning to weigh it down! I'll have to figure something different out soon which I'm afraid will mean less sleep for me.

Our Lily is certainly at that wonderful "terrible twos" stage. She's gaining more independence, but has such clingy whiny times it drives me crazy. Sometimes if it's not whining she's up to it's crying/screaming at me. Poor thing. I know she gets so frustrated trying to tell me what she wants and when I finally get it it's usually something she can't have! That really sets her off. Then I'm stuck trying to distract her with something else instead of giving in to her and that not working and both of us frustrated.

And we've decided to give potty training a more determined try. We're using the "Naked and $75" method. It's been 5 days now putting her on her potty every hour and she's actually starting to tell us she's got to go then going once we put her on the potty! Today she even went all by herself without telling us anything! We were very proud, but there are still the 2-3 other times during the day that she's NOT using the potty but the carpet or her crib. Yes this "training" takes time and yes she's still only 18 months old I remind myself. I think she's getting the hang of it and I would hate to go back to letting her go in her diapers all day now because it might confuse her. I'm glad she's getting used to the idea and not afraid of the potty, that's a step in the right direction I think, but it's not an easy thing to get housework done, care for another baby and get to a naked baby before she makes a poo on the living room floor!

We've had some difficult days but with the hard times have come some very sweet moments. I want to jot them down so I don't forget and to remind myself that when I feel like my sweet baby is gone forever and been replaced with a Queen Toot and I think I'm gonna lose it, she can be so sweet and will always be my little girl who I love and am so proud of. Lily is such a doting big sister. A couple weeks ago while I was on the phone with my mom I saw Lily go to the table, find a paper towel and come back to the living room and wipe Clara's face. I hadn't seen the big spity Clara had ejected so big sister took care of it!

And I don't want to ever forget how cute she is after our bedtime stories and hymn, when she gives kisses, tucks her bottle under her arm, waves bye-bye and marches happily down the hall to her bedroom to pray with Daddy and go night-night. Tonight she was even yelling "nigh-nigh"!

As hard as it gets to be a mama, staying at home 24-7 with little ones I don't want to forget that as long as these days can be, they are short. These stages my babies are in will pass and then will come other stages. As hard as it gets to deal with these crying, yelling, pooping, messy babies they won't always be this way. My days have frustrations but if I can just stop for a minute I'll see they're really filled with sweet moments, proud moments, laughs, kisses and hugs that I'll carry for the rest of my life.

More to Lose.

Phil and I often talk about dying, not because we love the subject but sometimes to tease that he can't up and marry the first busty blond the meets at my funeral if I go first, sometimes we talk about it practically, what he'd do with the girls if I'm gone or if I know where all the important papers and passwords are if he is, etc. As a pastor he, and I through him, often face death with the many members we've had who have come to the end of their long life, come close to death or may even die suddenly. It's become a very normal part of our life. It's occurred to me over the past couple of years how much my feelings on my own death have greatly changed and unfortunately not for the better. To be honest I get really sad to think about dying. When I was single the thought of dying was something I anticipated, something I was willing and ready to encounter at any time. I used to think as the apostle Paul did "to die is gain" but now I can't help but think of what I'd be "losing". It's silly really but I just don't like the thought of leaving Phil and my little girls. I guess I think now I have so much to "live" for that I would miss so much if I went to be with Jesus. I think I have a better understanding now of what Paul means when he says in I Corinthian 7;

"The unmarried woman cares about the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit. But she who is married cares about the things of the world—how she may please her husband."

I'll admit that I have a serious little pout when I think that in heaven Phil will not be husband, that I've only been given this man for a short time. I also have a slightly bigger pout when I think that someone else might have to help raise my girls if I died while they're young. And I have the biggest pout ever when Phil tells me that he looks forward to dying! Why's he gotta be all eager to leave me?!

I know that this world is not our home, that we are passing through, here for a little while and headed for a sinless eternity in the presence of our loving Father in perfect communion with Him as He originally designed. I can only imagine how amazing (what a pathetic puny word to use, sorry!) that will be, wonderful, awesome in the true sense of the word (where's a thesaurus when you need it?). My longing for more time on this earth shows me just how sinful I am. That even my good desires, to be with my husband and to raise my babies, are dirtied by sin! It won't be until I have fallen asleep in Christ and with the Lord that I my desires will finally be pure and perfect. It will only be then that I can finally love the Lord as I should, as I want to. Until then I pray, "Lord have mercy".

An email from Morgan

Me and Morgan c. 2006 (life was rough back then)

Thank you so much for sending me the link to your secret parenting blog. I began to read it tonight and so appreciate learning more about your life now. I miss you! I've been thinking about you a lot lately, smiling about how much our lives have changed. Walt and I went to La Zona Rosa this week to see a show. Our first in a year since the girls. It was stark how much our lives and hearts have been transformed since the last time I was there -- with you for Ray Benson's birthday bash. While I remember it fondly, I don't miss that time or long for it again. But I do miss and long for you!

Ah, parenting two girls. We've had ours for almost a year now. That's hard to believe. But when you see the difference in all four of us it seems much longer. They sure do become an inseparable part of you, don't they? With all the challenges, I can imagine it no other way.

Keep writing, and please, keep sharing.

I love you!

Morgan

I often think about how much life for me and my gaggle of girlfriends has changed in the last two years. We're all grown up and married with children or with children on the way. As someone said to me and Phil once that in a year he went "from swingin' and single to married with children". That can happen faster than I once thought possible! It's funny how you can think that life will never change for you, you'll be stuck in one situation forever then pow, it all changes at once or as it is many times little changes over time make life so different you look back one day and wonder what happened! My life the way it is now, makes my single days seem like a strange weird life in another world but some days I can remember that life like it was yesterday. I agree with what Morgan said above, I can look back with some fondness but I wouldn't want to go back to it that's for sure. Sure it was nice to be able to go out when I wanted with no need to find a babysitter and not have to drive 45 miles to get Starbucks but I didn't have my man or my precious babies then either! I don't even want to imagine life without them! It's a struggle when Phil and I do on occasion go out without the girls. When just the 2 of us go out it's so nice not have to dress me and 2 little people, make sure everything in our house is transferred to the diaper bag, get the girls in the car and get the girls out of the car but there's always a strange thought in the back of my mind that I'm missing something. It's so good to have a break from being "mama" all day everyday, but this has become my life, being a wife and a mama full time and as tiring and trying as it can be, I don't want anything else....except my friends back! I sure miss you ladies!

Guilty Pleasures.

Sometimes i can't wait until Clara needs a bottle so I can sit down and look at my computer or read a magazine without feeling guilty about not doing the 43 other things I should be getting done. And as you can see I'm getting pretty good at typing with one hand, another perk!

Little feet.

I'm finally hearing that "pitter-patter of little feet in the parsonage" that everyone talked about when we were expecting Lily. It's the cutest pitter-patter I've ever heard.

Little eyes, little hands.

I was folding and putting away laundry the other day and heard a little sigh. I looked over and saw Lily trying to fold part of her diaper. It was so sweet and made me realize just how much this little person watches and learns everything she sees me doing! It's an honor and huge responsibility to know that. She's even got my sigh down, yikes!

In the kitchen with Lily.

Even though I've almost broken my neck or twisted an ankle 15 times I love to look down while I'm cooking and see Lily stringing everything out of the cabinets and playing happily at my feet. I'll really miss her when she finds more important things to do while I get supper ready. Of course then it will be Clara sitting there I suppose!

Luther on Marriage I.

On married life Luther writes that our natural reason,

turns up her nose and says, 'Alas, must I rock the baby, wash its nappies, make its bed, smell its stench, stay up nights with it, take care of it when it cries, heal its rashes and sores, and on top of that care for my wife, provide for her, labour at my trade, take care of this and take care of that, do this and do that, endure this and endure that, and whatever else of bitterness and drudgery married life involves? What, should I make such a prisoner of myself O you poor, wretched fellow, have you taken a wife? Fie, fie upon such wretched-ness and bitterness! It is better to remain free and lead a peaceful, carefree
life.. .

What then does Christian faith say to this? It opens its eyes, looks upon all these insignificant, distasteful, and despised duties in the Spirit, and is aware that they are all adorned with divine approval as with the costliest gold and jewels. It says, 'O God, because I am certain that thou hast created me as a man and hast from my body begotten this child, I also know for a certainty that it meets with thy perfect pleasure. I confess to thee that I am not worthy to rock the little babe or wash its nappies, or to be entrusted with the care of the child and its mother. How is it that I, without any merit, have come to this distinction of being certain that I am serving thy creature and thy most precious will? O how gladly will I do so, though the duties should be even more insignificant and despised. Neither frost nor heat, neither drudgery nor labour, will distress or dissuade me, for I am certain that it is thus pleasing in thy sight.'s

I'm not sure why Luther speaks from a man's viewpoint of doing all of these tasks. I'll have to ask Phil about that! But of course it applies to a mama as well. How often I get tired of the "drudgery" of the everyday tasks of caring for little ones. My flesh can look back on my single days and think "wasn't it nice to just do what you wanted, when you wanted?" But doing those things had no reward other than making myself happy. No chubby little baby looking back at me with love in her eyes happy to have a clean "nappy". I've noticed that when these tasks involve MY little one, one I love, they just become things "that have to be done", not disgusting or painful, I just do them. I now know what my purpose in life is. I am to care for all of the needs of these precious girls. In doing this I please God who blessed me with them and gave them into my care! What great responsibility!

An Issues Etc. program on "Vocation and Parenting" worth listening to.

Living the dream.

I'm reading a blog a stay at home mom in MT keeps. She posted one of her reasons for blogging;

I would like to encourage other homemakers in their chosen vocation and even provide a few laughs when appropriate. Hopefully I’ll even be able to convince some skeptics that some people, at least, can be happy and fulfilled as a homemaker/stay at home mom and be quite different from the unfortunate stereotype of either a bon-bon eating, cheap romance reading, lazy, wimp lolling around home all day while her husband labors at his chosen career; or a brow-beaten, uneducated, harried wife trying to care for unruly children while her husband is off enjoying himself. Perhaps that language is a bit strong. However, I hope that I fit in neither category (even remotely). I am thrilled to be living my dream of being a wife and mother, and I love my job. It is so fulfilling.

I think she has a wonderful goal. She sounds very happy. I was both chagrined and curious about her apparent contentment. I have to admit I am more often than not that "brow-beaten, harried wife" she condemns and actually bon-bons don't sound too bad if I had them. But I'm frustrated with myself, with the sinner I face everyday. I do have my "dream job". I am "living the dream". Being a wife and mother is all I ever wanted to be. But even so I find many ways to be so unhappy, so "unfulfilled", not "loving my job". Of course my flesh doesn't want me to be content, doesn't want me to find joy in the blessings I have. Being a wife is hard, being a mother is hard, managing a home is hard. The hardships often blind me from the fact that I'm fulfilling a divine call and that I've been so blessed with a loving, responsible, wise husband and two beautiful, sweet little girls. I am so thankful to be living my "dream" and I do find all the fulfillment I'll ever find in this life in doing this but I'm not always "thrilled" about it. I'm more thrilled that God helps me to faithfully daily fulfill the duties He has given me and knowing that I am absolutely fulfilling His "will for my life" and that He has given me such a precious family to give my life to, to live out my days in faithfulness to and to love abundantly until I leave this life and find everlasting fulfillment.

Working Mother.

It's frustrating that the term 'working mother' is typically only applied to mother's with jobs outside of the home. Aren't all mothers 'working mothers'? A stay at home mom doesn't have a 9-5 job in an office somewhere, but she does have a "job". I often think being a stay-at-home-mom is like running a daycare, a cleaning service and a cafeteria at the same time...without your two 15 minute smoke breaks...and some days don't we all need a smoke break!? Ok, maybe not a nasty cig, but that sweet cup of coffee and scheduled 15 minutes of silence would be super.

Here's part of an interesting article I found:

What mothers are really worth
Stay-at-home mothers wear many hats. They're the family CEO, the day care provider, accountant, chauffeur, counselor, chef, nurse, laundress, entertainer, personal stylist, and educator. Based on a 90-hour work week, Salary.com has estimated that a fair wage for the typical stay-at-home mom would be well over $90,000 for executing all of her daily tasks. Factor in overtime, and the appropriate salary takes a leap of around $25,000.

"Mothers are responsible for the mental and physical well being of the family - putting a price on that isn't easy," said Lena Bottos, compensation market analyst for Salary.com. "But we looked at it as what you would have to pay other people to do the same work if the mom weren't there."

Even if these mothers were getting paid what they'd be worth on the market, Bottos added that they still wouldn't be adequately compensated. "When you take into account that it represents a 90-hour workweek, and doesn't even begin to factor in that they are on call 24 hours a day, it's not so large. Plus, stay-at-home moms get no benefits in terms of pension or 401(k)."

Kids want to learn.

I was listening to something today when I heard a man talking about the kids he was working with (can't remember doing what exactly) when asked what they would like to sing, all requested "A Mighty Fortress Is Our God". He said kids want to learn in contrast of just wanting to be entertained. That's a pretty heavy hymn not some silly happy clappy Jesus song. Those children saw value in that song, in singing it, so they wanted to.

I see the love of learning everyday with Lily. Her mind is a little sponge. She wants to know what everything is. It's such a delight to see her begin to understand what we say, to follow directions (at times) to anticipate what will happen next. And a joy to see her fold her little chubby hands when we sit down at the table to eat! She knew it was time to pray. Kids are born to learn. What will we give them to learn? What will we teach them is important to learn?

A Parenting Epiphany

A Parenting Epiphany

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