TV as Birth Control?

I couldn't believe this, an article about India's plan to handle the country's increasing population!

"If there is electricity in every village then people will watch TV until late night and then fall asleep. They won't get a chance to produce children," Azad said. "When there is no electricity there is nothing else to do but produce babies." He added: "Don't think that I am saying this in a lighter vein. I am serious. TV will have a great impact. It's a great medium to tackle the problem ... 80 percent of population growth can be reduced through TV."

Full story here:

http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/blogs/sfmoms/category?blogid=46&cat=3029

and here:
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/world/asia/article6695338.ece

More "Comment" Woes!

Can anyone tell me why I can't make comments on my blog? This is really frustrating! I was going to reply to "The Stark Family" about Babies but couldn't. So here's a post for it instead.

It does look good doesn't it! I can't find much on it except that it's a Focus Feature film and will be released in "select cities" on April 16. Since it's a documentary I'm sure it will come and go quickly if it indeed does come to places we live, so be on the lookout!

Sheesh. And while I'm at it, Brenda, I used your drawer idea with the pants. That saves so much time and works well. I have too many pants but it's working out. Also, "The Stark Family" we're gonna try "Naked and $75" soon. If Lily doesn't go for it we'll try again later I guess, hate to waste $75 if she doesn't though.

Training

We got another Tee-Tee on the potty from Lily today. Here's an interesting article on potty training which I've been reading a lot about recently. This one is unlike any that I've read so far.

http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/blogs/sfmoms/category?blogid=46&cat=1593

What a Difference 10 Months Makes

Having a 16 month old around makes me appreciate the simplicity of a 6 month old. When a 6 month old cries there are usually only 3-4 things that are wrong and are easily fixed, not so with a 16 month old!

Potty All the Time!

Houston, we got a poo-poo! Lily went in the potty for the first time today! We've been slowly introducing the potty for a couple months now, talking about it and what goes in it. Lily sits on it sometimes but produced nothing on it until today. Phil asked if she wanted to go potty, she signed "please" so he took her to it, sat her down and voila! We're so proud!

Don't worry this TP is clean.

The Babies Are Coming

I can't wait!

My Own Christmas

Christmas 2008

Yesterday I turned up the Christmas tunes I keep going 24/7 and wrapped christmas presents, one of my favorite things to do in December. Today we shipped them off to Texas. I wish I could hand deliver them all. Not being with my family is especially hard during this month. There are many theories on what makes this time of year seem more special than any other and I'm not sure I have a definite answer to why it seems that way to me. There's just something wonderful about the mystery of the virgin birth and God becoming a tiny baby, the joyful and familiar music we hear everywhere, the fun of finding and giving gifts, the baking, the cold weather, the cards in the mail, the decorations and pretty lights, but why these things make me so happy is beyond me. I'll just enjoy it and not worry about trying to figure it out!

I have such fond memories of Christmas during my childhood so I love thinking about all the traditions I'm getting to start with my girls. I get to bring them the traditions I had growing up and some new ones our new family can create. Everything is new to them and that adds to the fun. I look forward to when they're a little older and can participate more in all the Christmas preparations.

Project!

So many babies...sew little time. I made this bib and chew rings for Phil's friends the Younghouse's new baby girl. So look out all you new babies bibs, slippers and chew rings may be coming your way too!

A Good Daddy

Why my girls have such a good daddy reason #2.

Our big helper

When did she get old enough to start helping me with laundry?!?

Sisters

Holding hands, the sweetest thing I've ever seen.

Our big eater!

I just can't get over how much Clara eats. I know it's not even that much, but to have a baby that actually eats a whole jar of baby food in one sitting (!!) is so new to us!

Breakin' All the Rules

I just read this very interesting article on how we feed babies in America verses other countries/cultures. It's 4 years old so I'd be interested to see how/if research has progressed. You can read it here:

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/9646449/

We started giving Clara cereal at 3 months and I did have some guilt about that since everyone says don't do it until 4 months or better, wait until 6 months. But she handled it well and seemed to like it so I went on to veggies at 4 months with her. I asked our doctor about this and he said that was ok. She's a much better eater than Lily was (and is!). I don't think we did anything "wrong" with Lily. I'm still not sure why she is as picky as she is, I guess that's just her, but I do wonder sometimes.

All the older ladies here told me they'd started their babies on solids at 1 month then by 6 months their babies were on table food. The books and articles I'd read warned that older generations would say this and we should ignore them since we know better now, that babies digestive functions are still immature etc. Since I'm not a doctor (I don't even play one on tv) I just trusted that the "experts" I'd read knew what they're talking about so I better be very cautious about everything the girls ate. This article says there doesn't seem (scientifically) to be a "right" or wrong way to feed your babies if you use common sense. I'm glad it points out how feeding is done in other cultures. That is something that I've often thought about.

Anyway, this is just one more topic in baby raising that I tend to way "over think" and make more complicated than it should be. So I thought I'd share and see if any of you have "broken the rules" when feeding your babies!

Little Mama

Phil and I got a big laugh last night during pajama time. Clara was upset and crying. Phil was rocking her and trying to get her to calm down. We didn't notice that Lily was gone but she came back into the room carrying Clara's bottle and a burp cloth holding them out to us to give to Clara. What a sweet little girl and a very good big sister!

A Good Daddy

Why my girls have such a good daddy reason #1

Little Messes

Where Lily goes messes follow...


I keep reminding myself that one day I'll miss these messes...right?

Babyfood Jars

Phil's not the only one that has use for used beer cartons. I was tired of trying to keep jars stacked nicely in the pantry and find what I wanted without knocking them over so I decided to try these as little shelves. They're working very well so far I just have to leave a space in the middle so I can get the jars out. Finally they are categorized and neat.

PG-13

What we have here is an unavoidable situation when one lives with small curious children and leaves "certain items" lying around within reach. I'm just waiting for the day it happens when we have guests in the house...

Too Early.

Whoever came up with Daylight Saving Time beginning and/or this ending DID NOT have children! Babies waking up at 6 am is not very nice. Not the best time to have to hit the ground running. At least this morning I woke up and got my teeth brushed before the loud crying and the jabbering started. I feel very sorry for Mama's whose babies were already up at 6 and now up at 5. We're in for some LONG days.

On the other hand we have a beautiful sunrise this morning and we may get to eat breakfast as a family, migas anyone? And hey, I may take that morning walk after all since I have an extra hour to do morning housework!

Halloween Blues.

I called my mom today to whine about living where it will be perpetually COLD on Halloween night. Where it's cold babies have to wear coats and probably hats if they have good mamas, neither of which do much for an adorable and well planned Halloween costume. So we're doomed to only dress up as Molly the Mountain Climber or Susy the Snowman if we want to stay warm and be able to show off. I should have just gone with one of those woolly baby suit costumes that always looked way too warm while I was in Texas. They're cute, easy and key word here....WARM. Oh well. I'll be better prepared next year I hope!

Catechisis

Phil and I have started to read the small catechism to the girls at each meal time. We've started with The Lord's Prayer taking the Introduction at breakfast, the 1st Petition at lunch and the 2nd Petition at supper. We've tried to do this everyday throughout October and in November we'll move on to Petitions 3-5. At this time they're obviously too young to understand what we're saying but I wanted to begin to familiarize them with these words or sounds or whatever it is children at their age are capable of learning.

I know Lily already recognizes Luther's evening prayer and the Lord's Prayer since we've been praying them every night before bedtime for sometime now. At church when we begin to pray the Lord's prayer she looks around and smiles. I'm just glad she doesn't start crying thinking we're all about to go "night-night". I think it's important to begin even at this age teaching God's Word to our children and letting it be a normal part of our daily life. They really do pickup so much more than we think. Their understanding of it will come in time.

More to Lose.

Phil and I often talk about dying, not because we love the subject but sometimes to tease that he can't up and marry the first busty blond the meets at my funeral if I go first, sometimes we talk about it practically, what he'd do with the girls if I'm gone or if I know where all the important papers and passwords are if he is, etc. As a pastor he, and I through him, often face death with the many members we've had who have come to the end of their long life, come close to death or may even die suddenly. It's become a very normal part of our life. It's occurred to me over the past couple of years how much my feelings on my own death have greatly changed and unfortunately not for the better. To be honest I get really sad to think about dying. When I was single the thought of dying was something I anticipated, something I was willing and ready to encounter at any time. I used to think as the apostle Paul did "to die is gain" but now I can't help but think of what I'd be "losing". It's silly really but I just don't like the thought of leaving Phil and my little girls. I guess I think now I have so much to "live" for that I would miss so much if I went to be with Jesus. I think I have a better understanding now of what Paul means when he says in I Corinthian 7;

"The unmarried woman cares about the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit. But she who is married cares about the things of the world—how she may please her husband."

I'll admit that I have a serious little pout when I think that in heaven Phil will not be husband, that I've only been given this man for a short time. I also have a slightly bigger pout when I think that someone else might have to help raise my girls if I died while they're young. And I have the biggest pout ever when Phil tells me that he looks forward to dying! Why's he gotta be all eager to leave me?!

I know that this world is not our home, that we are passing through, here for a little while and headed for a sinless eternity in the presence of our loving Father in perfect communion with Him as He originally designed. I can only imagine how amazing (what a pathetic puny word to use, sorry!) that will be, wonderful, awesome in the true sense of the word (where's a thesaurus when you need it?). My longing for more time on this earth shows me just how sinful I am. That even my good desires, to be with my husband and to raise my babies, are dirtied by sin! It won't be until I have fallen asleep in Christ and with the Lord that I my desires will finally be pure and perfect. It will only be then that I can finally love the Lord as I should, as I want to. Until then I pray, "Lord have mercy".

An email from Morgan

Me and Morgan c. 2006 (life was rough back then)

Thank you so much for sending me the link to your secret parenting blog. I began to read it tonight and so appreciate learning more about your life now. I miss you! I've been thinking about you a lot lately, smiling about how much our lives have changed. Walt and I went to La Zona Rosa this week to see a show. Our first in a year since the girls. It was stark how much our lives and hearts have been transformed since the last time I was there -- with you for Ray Benson's birthday bash. While I remember it fondly, I don't miss that time or long for it again. But I do miss and long for you!

Ah, parenting two girls. We've had ours for almost a year now. That's hard to believe. But when you see the difference in all four of us it seems much longer. They sure do become an inseparable part of you, don't they? With all the challenges, I can imagine it no other way.

Keep writing, and please, keep sharing.

I love you!

Morgan

I often think about how much life for me and my gaggle of girlfriends has changed in the last two years. We're all grown up and married with children or with children on the way. As someone said to me and Phil once that in a year he went "from swingin' and single to married with children". That can happen faster than I once thought possible! It's funny how you can think that life will never change for you, you'll be stuck in one situation forever then pow, it all changes at once or as it is many times little changes over time make life so different you look back one day and wonder what happened! My life the way it is now, makes my single days seem like a strange weird life in another world but some days I can remember that life like it was yesterday. I agree with what Morgan said above, I can look back with some fondness but I wouldn't want to go back to it that's for sure. Sure it was nice to be able to go out when I wanted with no need to find a babysitter and not have to drive 45 miles to get Starbucks but I didn't have my man or my precious babies then either! I don't even want to imagine life without them! It's a struggle when Phil and I do on occasion go out without the girls. When just the 2 of us go out it's so nice not have to dress me and 2 little people, make sure everything in our house is transferred to the diaper bag, get the girls in the car and get the girls out of the car but there's always a strange thought in the back of my mind that I'm missing something. It's so good to have a break from being "mama" all day everyday, but this has become my life, being a wife and a mama full time and as tiring and trying as it can be, I don't want anything else....except my friends back! I sure miss you ladies!

A first word?

Lily has said "mo" a few times now when she wants "more" of something! As much as we love our friend Morgan, I don't think she's asking for "Mo", like I do sometimes. Could this be her first word?! Or have I been in denial that when she says "ah-sigh" and points out the back door she has in fact been saying "outside" for a couple months now?! How could such a big first have slipped my notice?

Games?

I'm on the hunt for games that are good to play with Lily. She'll be 15 months old in a couple weeks. I've found some and most of them involve big messes, which I've decided is fine. It is getting to be the time of year when staying inside is a must so water games are out the window (which will be closed tight in another month!). So if anyone has any suggestions, I'd be happy to hear them!

Guilty Pleasures.

Sometimes i can't wait until Clara needs a bottle so I can sit down and look at my computer or read a magazine without feeling guilty about not doing the 43 other things I should be getting done. And as you can see I'm getting pretty good at typing with one hand, another perk!

Comment woes.

Well, for some reason I've been having a lot of trouble leaving a comment on my own blog! It won't work! I hope no one else is having this problem, let me know if you are. I wanted to respond to "The Stark Family's" comment about reading John Rosemond but couldn't so I'll just make a post out of it!

Yay another Rosemondite! I've been asking myself "WWJRD?" a LOT recently! The other books we got are Parent Power and Making the Terrible Twos Terrific. I've been cheating and reading Terrible Twos ahead of Phil but will for sure want to reread it with him, cuz if your 14 almost 15 month old is like my 14 almost 15 month old then some good and practical advice is much appreciated! So far it's been really informative. I did have a little beef with his sighting some other guy on the "optimal" spacing of children being 3 1/2 years apart. I can see his points, but don't agree....obviously. Anyway, here's a shout-out to JR! Maybe some of you other readers will check him out and join the John Rosemond Fan Club with us!!

Take that Blogger!

Big Helper!

Lily is finally starting to pull her own weight around here. I was so proud when I told her to go get Clara's burp cloth for me (which had fallen behind me on the floor) she found it, picked it up and handed it to me. I can also tell her to take Clara's bottle to daddy and she does that. It's just amazing to see that she understands a lot of what we say and can follow instructions. She's not a baby anymore!

John Rosemond's Six Point Plan.

Phil and I just ordered three books by John Rosemond who I mentioned in a previous post, the family psychologist who according to his website "no longer even "believes" in psychology, calling it a "largely disingenuous secular religion that has fostered more discord and disharmony in the American family than any other single contemporary force except, perhaps, television." .

We're reading these books together in the evenings when we can. We just finished "point #1" of Rosemond's 6 points. He writes:

...the secret to raising happy, healthy children is to give more attention to the marriage than you give to the children. If you succeed at that, your children will turn out just fine.

His focus is on the family as a "unit" and putting priorities in the proper order within the family. This isn't something I've heard very much from the "experts" I tend to turn to ie The Internet. I often do come across advise to not neglect yourself or your marriage, but I haven't heard that it should be priority #1 which absolutely makes sense. (He makes a similar application to a single parent stating that they should establish an identity for themselves that has nothing to do with their children.) My marriage is the most important relationship in my life and if Phil and I do our jobs right, the kids will be gone someday and we'll keep truckin' along together. If we pour all we are into our babies what will we do once they're gone and have families of their own? He says this problem is why so many couples in their 40s and 50s tend to divorce. They've neglected their marriage while they devoted themselves to their children, grew apart, then have nothing to give each other.

In a two-parent family, the marriage must come first. After all, the marriage created the family, and the marriage sustains it. The marriage preceded the children, and is meant to succeed them. If you don't put your marriage first, and keep it there, it's likely to become a mirage.

I think that deserves to be followed with an "Oh, snap!"

The Best-Kept Secret to a Clean Home

This post was first published in July 2008 from SimpleMom.net

While I was scraping dried food bits off my seven-month-old son’s Bumbo the other day, I was reminded of the best universal cleaning hack there is.

Clean it right away.

If I had wiped off my son’s Bumbo as soon as he finished spreading his meal hither and yon, it would have hardly taken any elbow grease, and at most, it would have killed two minutes of my time.

Instead, I chose to wait until later that day, which meant I had to roll up my sleeves, use the scouring pad, and devote ten minutes of time I could have spent emptying the dishwasher, folding a load of laundry, or reading a blog post.

A few minutes of time can really add up when it comes to managing our home.

Which is easier, rinsing and loading your dishwasher right after dinner, or scrubbing off hardened bits of food the next morning? What about folding and hanging a freshly dried load of laundry, or folding wrinkled shirts that will then need ironing in order to wear?

It’s so easy for all of us to breathe huge sighs of desperation when we think of the day’s chores ahead of us. But consider how long — really — your typical daily chores could take, on average, if you did them right away.

Here are a few from my day:

• making the bed – 1 to 2 minutes
• decluttering the bathroom counter after getting ready for the day – 1 minute
• wiping off the bathroom mirror and faucet from water marks – 10 seconds
• clearing the dining table from the meal (especially if everyone brings their own plate back to the kitchen) – 1 to 2 minutes
• unloading the dishwasher – 3 to 5 minutes
• loading the dishwasher – 5 to 10 minutes
• wiping off the dining table – 1 minute
• wiping off the kitchen counters after cooking – 2 minutes
• throwing away items after using them (envelopes, wrappers, etc.) – 5 seconds
• putting the magazine back in the basket after I’ve perused it – 5 seconds

You get the idea. I just wonder how many minutes — or hours — I sometimes spend cleaning things that could take mere seconds or minutes if I did them right away. Add to that the reduced stress, the lessened physical output, the visual peace, and the increased space earned from a home cleaned quicker, and I’m sold.

I’m going to work on getting better at cleaning as I go.

Application Time

Set a timer for 15 minutes and see how much you can get done in your immediate environment. If you’re currently surrounded by clutter in your living room, that’s an obvious choice. I’m not asking you to rearrange your day’s schedule – just spare a tiny handful of time.

Step back and review your decluttering job. Does it look better? Does it make you feel better?

Sanja Rescek.

Sylvia gave Lily a Nursery Ryhme book for her birthday. It is illustrated by Sanja Rescek. I love some of the drawings so I looked her up today and found some more sweet illustrations.


And Lily amazed me when I began to recite one of the nursery rhymes from this book and she walked across the room to the bookshelf, found the book and brought it to me. I was so proud and couldn't believe what she had just done!

John Rosemond.

Phil and I enjoy reading a parenting column in the Omaha paper by John Rosemond. He has a very 'traditional' perspective on parenting that makes a lot of sense. We looked him up and I like what I've found out about him. He is a parent counselor and uses common sense and scripture as a guide for parents. Phil says he's the Dave Ramsey of parenting. I'm listening to a series of interviews with him found here:

Little feet.

I'm finally hearing that "pitter-patter of little feet in the parsonage" that everyone talked about when we were expecting Lily. It's the cutest pitter-patter I've ever heard.

Luther on Marriage III

In a wedding sermon of 1531, Luther says “God’s word is actually inscribed on one’s spouse. When a man looks at his wife as if she were the only woman on earth, and when a woman looks at her husband if he were the only man on earth; yes, if no king or queen, not even the sun itself sparkles any more brightly and lights up your eyes more than your own husband or wife, then right there you are face to face with God speaking. God promises to you your wife or husband, actually gives your spouse to you saying, ‘The man shall be yours. I am pleased beyond measure! Creatures earthly and heavenly are jumping for joy.’ For there is no jewelry more precious than God’s Word; through it you come to regard your spouse as a gift of God and, as long as you do that, you have no regrets” (WA 34:52.12-21, quoted by Hendrix, 347).

Luther on Marriage: Vocation in Creation and Cross

Image of God Conference

Concordia Theological Seminary

Fort Wayne, Indiana

18-20 September 2006

Little eyes, little hands.

I was folding and putting away laundry the other day and heard a little sigh. I looked over and saw Lily trying to fold part of her diaper. It was so sweet and made me realize just how much this little person watches and learns everything she sees me doing! It's an honor and huge responsibility to know that. She's even got my sigh down, yikes!

In the kitchen with Lily.

Even though I've almost broken my neck or twisted an ankle 15 times I love to look down while I'm cooking and see Lily stringing everything out of the cabinets and playing happily at my feet. I'll really miss her when she finds more important things to do while I get supper ready. Of course then it will be Clara sitting there I suppose!

Exploring outside.

I took the girls for a walk yesterday and we stopped by the Neihardt Center so Lily could practice walking in her new shoes. She didn't do much walking but had so much fun playing with the rocks and berries on the ground. It's times like this that make me so happy to be able to just sit and watch her and know that I don't have anything else more important to do.

Clara took a snooze in the cool breeze.

Luther on Marriage II

Thanks to Weslie who sent a little article to me titled "Luther's View on Marriage". It's only 8 pages but I've been reading it for a couple weeks now. I find Luther's quotes in the article to be so profound I have to re-read so much of it. This blog is dedicated mostly to my journey of becoming a mother, but I'm finding I'm on another journey that I believe to be even more important, becoming a wife, the wife I want to be. I also believe that I must be a good wife in order to be a good mother and I parent these precious girls with another, my wonderful husband. These babies are the arrows in our quiver, or actually Phil's quiver I guess! So it's been good for me to sit and ponder some of what Luther writes on marriage.

The Estate of Marriage

"The main question is how I can be sure that marriage is the right way for me to live. Am I not more free if I stay single? How can I be sure that this and not some other woman or man is the marriage partner for me and will stay that way, even after all attraction ceases? In times of crisis and conflict, what can I hold onto? Should I pursue the idea that someone else might be better suited for me? what can I base my decision on? Should I, do I have to be buffeted about by the many and varied voices I hear? Can I in the midst of all this find a place to stand and go forward?

In light of all this, we can understand why Luther placed so much emphasis on the 'estate' of marriage. For us this has become an old-fashioned word that suggests something solid and immovable. But for Luther the concept of estate was intimately connected with both steadfastness and energy, products of the reliability of the word that ensures that life together will have the quality of endurance. The word holds all the various facets of an active life together, its beauty and peace as well as its crises and conflicts. The word of God lends stability to the estate of marriage and brings about the unconditional and permanent unity of one man and one woman."

Marriage today is anything but 'unconditional and permanent'. It sounds like a nice idea to many people, but only if life together is smooth and happy. But what happens when the 'crisis and conflicts' come. When a marriage seems shaky, it's then that the word of God is the only thing that 'lends stability'. It's then that we can cling to God's promise that He is the one that has joined us to our spouse, it is He that created our Holy and blessed union. Therefore He will give it the 'quality of endurance'. When I pray that He will help me to turn from myself and give me more and more love for my husband, I can be assured that He will because this is what He wants. My marriage is 'solid and immovable', a mountain of God's promises.

Consignment Shopping.

Another lesson learned last night at the consignment sale. I've been to enough of these to have known by now to;

1) Take a clothes basket even if you don't think you'll get much, cuz you probably will get 'much'

2) Take a calculator so you don't have to stand there adding in your head over and over trying to not look like you're adding in your head over and over.

3) Take a tape measure so you don't waste 30 minutes trying to decide if something will be way too short

AND the hard lesson learned this time

4) COUNT YOUR ITEMS before they do cuz you might not leave with those brand new adorable striped mittens and hat from The Children's Place that you thought were in your pile. :(

Somedays.

Most days I feel like I'm treading the water of "things that HAVE to be done" and so rarely able to do things that really SHOULD be done and forget anything that just WANTS to be done! So in order to keep in mind the things I'd like to enjoy doing when I get the time, I've made a list:

Scrapbooking; I'd like to finish Lily's "baby book" photo album of her first year and start Clara's.
Organize photos; I need another large photo album for family photos, something to just flip through.
Cardmaking; I need to make more and stock up.
Sewing; oh I'd love to make dresses for the girls. They don't really need them, but it would be nice to put something in their wardrobe that I made.
Learn some songs on guitar for the girls; I want to have a lot of music in our home. I want them to be familiar with playing an instrument and I think it would be a fun thing to learn some songs I could sing with them.
Read, read, read!

I mentioned to Phil that I'd like a few hours maybe once a month when he could watch the girls and I could just do something I enjoy. I think we could work this out. We've already agreed that my monthly trip to Sioux City to do our grocery shopping will be the time I can go to Starbucks and get some reading done and drink some coffee that I didn't have to make. I did that this month and it was great! I looked forward to it for days. So maybe I'll start to get some of these other things going as well.

Question of the Week.

"QOTW" courtesy of www.csahm.com (who charge for membership! crazy.)

'Do you blog? If so, why?'

I blog to update family and friends who are so kind to read about our lives and actually want to know what we're up to, i blog to keep memories and pictures alive in my mind, i blog for "therapy", i blog because it's fun, i blog because just maybe someone else can identify with me and find some comfort in knowing they're not alone or just tell me how i can do it better!

Halloween Cometh!

Well, October is coming and with it one of my favorite 'holidays', Halloween! Which means time to be cute and creative and come up with something adorable to dress my girls up in. Last year was a chance stroke of brilliance but what to do this year? I wanted to dress Lily as an Elephant since that has been the first animal sound she could make and she thinks all animals are Elephants until recently they are becoming Horses, but I'm not sure how I'd pull off making ears and with my limited amount of time to devote to it I don't want to do a lame-o job. So an Elephant might be out, same thing with the Monkey idea I had for Clara. So perhaps Pooh and Piglet? That might be easiest though I'll still have to get pretty creative and do some shopping. I'll have to go through their clothes this week and see if anything jumps out at me like last year.

Ideas:
Pooh and Piglet
Chicken and an Egg
Rag dolls
Hobos
Farmer and a Cow

**Update** I've found the greatest costume and idea for the girls. Bring it on Halloween!

Blueberry Muffins.

I'm so glad that "baking season" is approaching! Baking just makes me happy. I made Banana muffins last week and gave some to Lily. She LOVED it, mostly the cinnamon struesel topping, but I thought maybe I could make some a bit "healthier" and see how she took it since I've been having the hardest time getting her to eat food! I looked and looked for a healthy whole wheat muffin recipe that I didn't need apple sauce for since I didn't have any unless I made it myself which I could have done yes, but I found this one on sparkpeople.com's site. They're in the oven now and smelling pretty good so far. They may taste like paper, but perhaps Lily won't complain and just maybe she'll decide she likes blueberries.

Ingredients

2 eggs
1/4 cup margarine or butter, melted
1 cup skim milk
1 cup white flour
1/2 cup whole wheat flour
3 tsp baking powder
1/2 tsp salt
2 tbsp sugar
1 1/2 cup blueberries
1/4 cup whole wheat flour
1/2 cup sugar

Strudel topping
2 Tablespoons of butter, cut in small pieces
1/4 cup brown sugar
1/4 cup whole wheat flour
1 Tablespoon of chopped walnuts or pecans (optional)
dash of cinnamon

Directions

1. Melt 1/4 cup of margarine or butter in large glass measuring cup and set aside to cool
2. In a large bowl mix flour, baking powder, salt, and the 2
tablespoons of sugar.
3. Stir the eggs and milk into the melted butter and then mix the liquid ingredients into the large bowl
4. In another small bowl mix the blueberries with the 1/4 cup of flour and 1/2 sugar.
5. Gently fold the blueberries into the cake mixture
6. Pour batter into 18 muffin cups (I only fill the cups 1/2-3/4 full)
7. Use the same bowl from the blueberries, flour and sugar to combine the ingredients for the strudel topping. Use hands, pastry blender, or two forks to combine into crumbles. Sprinkle the topping on batter.
8. Bake at 400 for 18 minutes for dark pan, 20 minutes for light pan.

*Update: These are a hit with Lily and me! Prep time...15 minutes. Baking time...18 minutes. Sharing a yummy muffin with my little girl...timeless. (well, not really, only about 5 minutes but some of the best 5 minutes!)

Diaperbag Blues.

Ok, so I'm getting a hang on packing or over packing my diaper bag when we're out with the girls. I know now, lots of wipes, plenty of diapers and burp clothes and a change of clothes for them, but I learned today that Mama may need a change of clothes too after one explosive poopy diaper from sweet Clara from which she was unscathed. So, just throw an extra t-shirt in the car when you leave next time...just in case.

Luther on Discipline.

Phil sent this quote from Luther to me.

"The more ardently parents love their children, the severer their discipline is. ... But paternal love and pity demand blows, whips, and stripes, in order that children may be improved, even though this cannot be done without pain and grief."

Ouch!

And this German Proverb:

"The dearer the child, the sharper the rods."

I believe it's time that our "disciplining" Lily took on a different flavor. For several months I've used the firm "no" and redirection. Lily is now really testing her limits. She thinks it's so fun to see how far she can go. She really gets a kick out of seeing my get on to her. When she hit Clara in the face and I popped her hand she just laughed at me. At her age, I just don't know how to make her understand that something is wrong and she can't do it. I read that I should pick a few things at a time to teach her are not acceptable and prioritize what you 'discipline' her over. So far smacking Clara is probably the biggest 'no no' and I guess I'll stick with removing her to the corner or her crib to teach her that. She seems to get very upset when we take that route.

I want well behaved children and I want them to not have to be told over and over to do or not to do something. I know it will take time and extreme perseverance and consistency on my part, but it will be worth it. I've already failed many times and wavered on what I should decide to make a "no no" but I make a mental note and move on each day. I hope to figure out how to best correct and instruct my girls sooner than later, later would most likely make my battle harder but is this age too soon? I'm constantly unsure about that.

Luther on Marriage I.

On married life Luther writes that our natural reason,

turns up her nose and says, 'Alas, must I rock the baby, wash its nappies, make its bed, smell its stench, stay up nights with it, take care of it when it cries, heal its rashes and sores, and on top of that care for my wife, provide for her, labour at my trade, take care of this and take care of that, do this and do that, endure this and endure that, and whatever else of bitterness and drudgery married life involves? What, should I make such a prisoner of myself O you poor, wretched fellow, have you taken a wife? Fie, fie upon such wretched-ness and bitterness! It is better to remain free and lead a peaceful, carefree
life.. .

What then does Christian faith say to this? It opens its eyes, looks upon all these insignificant, distasteful, and despised duties in the Spirit, and is aware that they are all adorned with divine approval as with the costliest gold and jewels. It says, 'O God, because I am certain that thou hast created me as a man and hast from my body begotten this child, I also know for a certainty that it meets with thy perfect pleasure. I confess to thee that I am not worthy to rock the little babe or wash its nappies, or to be entrusted with the care of the child and its mother. How is it that I, without any merit, have come to this distinction of being certain that I am serving thy creature and thy most precious will? O how gladly will I do so, though the duties should be even more insignificant and despised. Neither frost nor heat, neither drudgery nor labour, will distress or dissuade me, for I am certain that it is thus pleasing in thy sight.'s

I'm not sure why Luther speaks from a man's viewpoint of doing all of these tasks. I'll have to ask Phil about that! But of course it applies to a mama as well. How often I get tired of the "drudgery" of the everyday tasks of caring for little ones. My flesh can look back on my single days and think "wasn't it nice to just do what you wanted, when you wanted?" But doing those things had no reward other than making myself happy. No chubby little baby looking back at me with love in her eyes happy to have a clean "nappy". I've noticed that when these tasks involve MY little one, one I love, they just become things "that have to be done", not disgusting or painful, I just do them. I now know what my purpose in life is. I am to care for all of the needs of these precious girls. In doing this I please God who blessed me with them and gave them into my care! What great responsibility!

An Issues Etc. program on "Vocation and Parenting" worth listening to.

This Week's No Nos.

"No Nos" I've committed this week:

I know, I know "Back to Sleep"! Well, Clara has never slept well at all on her back. She's too restless and startles herself awake. Even when swaddled the best I could get out of her was about 3-4 hours of sleep. From the time she was 6 weeks old she has been sleeping through the night, but only in the swing. I don't think this is a good habit to be forming. I'm very worried that the transition she'll have to make at some point to a bed won't be easy if she continues to sleep in the swing. We have recently discovered that she does in fact seem to like sleeping on her tummy. I have put her down for several naps now in this position during the day. She does very well. She has great head and neck control at 12 weeks. So I'm not worried but I have yet to attempt this through the night. I'm still pretty nervous about doing that and haven't figured out where I'd put her anyway. I'll keep testing her out during nap times and see how it goes.

I know it's not recommended that children under two years of age watch 'television' but lately I've been putting on one of the Baby Einstein videos for Lily while I'm cooking supper. Perhaps I'm being selfish or lazy but I've found this really helps when she's had a whiny bad mood day and playing with pots and pans right under my feet just isn't making her happy. She sits there happy as can be laughing and pointing and if studies are correct...getting dumber.

Diapering.

While cloth diapering can be gross and frustrating at times, I have to say there's something about hanging diapers outside to dry that makes me feel like I've done something good today.

Living the dream.

I'm reading a blog a stay at home mom in MT keeps. She posted one of her reasons for blogging;

I would like to encourage other homemakers in their chosen vocation and even provide a few laughs when appropriate. Hopefully I’ll even be able to convince some skeptics that some people, at least, can be happy and fulfilled as a homemaker/stay at home mom and be quite different from the unfortunate stereotype of either a bon-bon eating, cheap romance reading, lazy, wimp lolling around home all day while her husband labors at his chosen career; or a brow-beaten, uneducated, harried wife trying to care for unruly children while her husband is off enjoying himself. Perhaps that language is a bit strong. However, I hope that I fit in neither category (even remotely). I am thrilled to be living my dream of being a wife and mother, and I love my job. It is so fulfilling.

I think she has a wonderful goal. She sounds very happy. I was both chagrined and curious about her apparent contentment. I have to admit I am more often than not that "brow-beaten, harried wife" she condemns and actually bon-bons don't sound too bad if I had them. But I'm frustrated with myself, with the sinner I face everyday. I do have my "dream job". I am "living the dream". Being a wife and mother is all I ever wanted to be. But even so I find many ways to be so unhappy, so "unfulfilled", not "loving my job". Of course my flesh doesn't want me to be content, doesn't want me to find joy in the blessings I have. Being a wife is hard, being a mother is hard, managing a home is hard. The hardships often blind me from the fact that I'm fulfilling a divine call and that I've been so blessed with a loving, responsible, wise husband and two beautiful, sweet little girls. I am so thankful to be living my "dream" and I do find all the fulfillment I'll ever find in this life in doing this but I'm not always "thrilled" about it. I'm more thrilled that God helps me to faithfully daily fulfill the duties He has given me and knowing that I am absolutely fulfilling His "will for my life" and that He has given me such a precious family to give my life to, to live out my days in faithfulness to and to love abundantly until I leave this life and find everlasting fulfillment.

Getting stuff done.

Why does it surprise me when something finally "dawns" on me? I've been a mama for 13 months now, seems like a long time, but boy am I still a "newbie". Of course I'm still gonna have to figure things out! It's just odd that something so simple that would have been so helpful all along failed to come to mind, then one day it does. I suppose that's why our mamas are the experts we turn to for everything. They've been mamas for a long time and had their little "epiphanies" long ago.

In an attempt to keep our house clean PC (pre-Clara) I was dividing up the tasks a little bit each day. Tuesdays "Floor" days (mopping, vacuuming), Wednesdays "Laundry" etc. But the problem has been missing a day, then I tend to get all backed up and inevitably the bathrooms or our bedroom does not get cleaned...for weeks, okay, months. Now that I'm a little busier I'm still trying to stick to that schedule but way less actually gets done. I've got a long list of things that I "will get to" that never get gotten to. I just feel so much better when the house is neater and I know the floors and bathrooms are clean. Unfortunately I have to pick what gets cleaned and what can wait. Thus the build up. So I've finally asked Leanna to watch the girls for me once a week for a few hours while I get these done. It just doesn't work if I try during nap time.
Today was the first day Leanna came to watch the girls. I did get some stuff done, but I think it will be better if she takes them to her house next week. I'm so thankful to have someone so near by that loves my babies like a grandma and is willing and able to help me out anytime I need her. The Munderlohs are such a blessing to both me and Phil.

Working Mother.

It's frustrating that the term 'working mother' is typically only applied to mother's with jobs outside of the home. Aren't all mothers 'working mothers'? A stay at home mom doesn't have a 9-5 job in an office somewhere, but she does have a "job". I often think being a stay-at-home-mom is like running a daycare, a cleaning service and a cafeteria at the same time...without your two 15 minute smoke breaks...and some days don't we all need a smoke break!? Ok, maybe not a nasty cig, but that sweet cup of coffee and scheduled 15 minutes of silence would be super.

Here's part of an interesting article I found:

What mothers are really worth
Stay-at-home mothers wear many hats. They're the family CEO, the day care provider, accountant, chauffeur, counselor, chef, nurse, laundress, entertainer, personal stylist, and educator. Based on a 90-hour work week, Salary.com has estimated that a fair wage for the typical stay-at-home mom would be well over $90,000 for executing all of her daily tasks. Factor in overtime, and the appropriate salary takes a leap of around $25,000.

"Mothers are responsible for the mental and physical well being of the family - putting a price on that isn't easy," said Lena Bottos, compensation market analyst for Salary.com. "But we looked at it as what you would have to pay other people to do the same work if the mom weren't there."

Even if these mothers were getting paid what they'd be worth on the market, Bottos added that they still wouldn't be adequately compensated. "When you take into account that it represents a 90-hour workweek, and doesn't even begin to factor in that they are on call 24 hours a day, it's not so large. Plus, stay-at-home moms get no benefits in terms of pension or 401(k)."

Change your mindset.

Phil sent this link to me today:

http://www.biblemoneymatters.com/2009/07/be-content-save-money-and-be-happier.html

Here's an excerpt:

Through all phases of life you are likely to see something or someone that you feel looks better than you or has something you want.

Let me paint a picture for you; You show up to a party and your girlfriend has on a beautiful dress with the purse, shoes and accessories to match and there you are with a dress that is 5 years old and flip-flops. Meanwhile, your husband is downstairs checking out the finished basement, with a projector TV and movie style seating. Now what? Do you completely blow your monthly budget, head to the department store and duplicate her outfit? Does your husband want to empty out your savings account or charge your credit card so he can have a movie theater in the basement? OR are you happy that you both have friends to visit, dress and shoes to wear and that fit, a means of transportation to the party, and a house to live in?

I hope you choose the latter, but chances are you will be pulling out the credit card!! It’s natural to feel envious and jealous, but these are also 2 of the 7 deadly sins. If we are constantly being jealous of others, how are we being thankful for what we have? God wants us to be like Paul and Job, who were content when they had everything and when they had nothing.

The act of being content is a challenge that one cannot face alone. Prayer is one of the most powerful tools God has given us, so use it. When you are feeling envious or jealous, pray for God to remove those thoughts and allow you to be more thankful and content for what you have. Instead of thinking about everything you don’t have, think about everything you DO have. Be happy that you are alive, have a family, can see, hear, walk, talk, drive a car, have a car to drive, clothes in your closet, food in your refrigerator, water in your faucet, a computer to read this article, the money to pay for the internet, a bed to sleep in, sheets on the bed, and most important a God in Heaven to call Father. When you see someone with something nice, be happy for them. Tell yourself that they work hard and God has blessed them and will bless you!

Change your mindset, change your life.

Kids want to learn.

I was listening to something today when I heard a man talking about the kids he was working with (can't remember doing what exactly) when asked what they would like to sing, all requested "A Mighty Fortress Is Our God". He said kids want to learn in contrast of just wanting to be entertained. That's a pretty heavy hymn not some silly happy clappy Jesus song. Those children saw value in that song, in singing it, so they wanted to.

I see the love of learning everyday with Lily. Her mind is a little sponge. She wants to know what everything is. It's such a delight to see her begin to understand what we say, to follow directions (at times) to anticipate what will happen next. And a joy to see her fold her little chubby hands when we sit down at the table to eat! She knew it was time to pray. Kids are born to learn. What will we give them to learn? What will we teach them is important to learn?

Time Saving.

I came across this today:

Moms everywhere seem to share the same problem: There's not enough time to get everything done, let alone do it well and quickly. Meanwhile, we're tripping over piles of toys and can't find anything in our closet because we never have time to organize it.

Our families are counting on us, too, which means more pressure to whip through all our duties, from grocery shopping to scrubbing bathtubs. "Moms are always on call," says Susan Newman, mother of five and author of The Book of No: 250 Ways to Say It — and Mean It — and Stop People-Pleasing Forever.

"You're on call with your cell phone. You're on call with e-mail. You're on call 24 hours a day. You're on call when the baby wakes up in the middle of the night."

When we add our regular on-call status to our already long to-do list, we're left exhausted, wishing we had more time just to be with our families instead of running errands.

Some "Time Saving" tips:

6. Skip ironing and get wrinkles out of a shirt or pair of trousers by putting them in the dryer for 15 minutes with a damp hand towel.
7. Stop wasting time looking for things you use often, like scissors, reading glasses, or baby wipes. Stock up and keep duplicates in the rooms where you spend the most time.
8. Designate 30 minutes after dinner for cleaning —
9. Organize your favorite articles, parenting information, and recipes so you can find them more quickly. Place pages from online sites, magazines, and newspapers in page protectors and stash them in a three-ring binder.
10. Shop for holiday and birthday gifts year-round. Whenever you see a great gift for someone you love, buy it and set it aside for giving later.
11. Set the table the night before and put items like bowls, utensils, cereal, fruit, toaster, and bread out to avoid a morning rush.
12. Limit personal e-mail and computer time to twice a day.
13. Hire a babysitter for a couple of hours on the weekend so you can tackle household duties and errands without kids in tow.
14. Chop all your vegetables, fruits, and herbs for the week's meals at one time so everything will be ready for cooking.
15. dd important appointments and activities to a master calendar in your e-mail in-box and set up reminders for up to one week ahead.
16. Sort belongings into clear, labeled bins that can be stacked and stowed so your child can easily find things like DVDs and toys without your help. Use brightly colored labels and picture labels for toddlers and preschoolers who can't read.
17. Keep disinfecting and glass wipes in the bathroom for quick cleanups around toilets, sinks, and mirrors. You could even do a speedy wipe-down while you bathe the kids.
18. Keep cardboard boxes labeled "donate," "trash," or "consign" in the garage or storage closet to routinely rid your house of unused items and clutter.
19. Designate a cabinet in your kitchen for medicine so you'll have easy access to everything from pain reliever to bandages when and where you need them. Make sure it's secured with a child-safe lock.
20. Sort medicine into small, labeled storage bins — one bin for children's medications, one for adult cough and cold remedies, one for first-aid supplies, and so on, and keep them in the locked cabinet.
21. Keep a pack of thank-you cards in the glove box of your car or in your daily planner so you can write notes while sitting in the car or waiting for a doctor to see you.
22. Keep an assortment of greeting cards on hand, filed by occasion. You'll save time on trips to the store, and you can quickly take care of an unexpected birthday or send off a heartfelt condolence.
23. Forget sorting laundry. Wash everything in cold water.
24. Soak before you wash. Fill your sink or a bucket with soapy water and place dirty dishes, bottles, and other cooking and eating items in there. When you get around to them, they'll be much easier to clean

A Parenting Epiphany

A Parenting Epiphany

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Re: How are you?

In response to Eugenie's email and question "How are you? I really want to know how the balancing is with two small children. Jud and I are getting licensed to adopt through the foster system."

Just a warning, you've asked me how this parenting thing is going right after a "bad day". Yesterday was not good for me. I just wanted to go in my room and close the door and let these babies just cry if they wanted. I think most of it was probably post-partum hormones making me a little crazy, but neither of the girls were very happy and listening to constant crying, whining, screaming from them really wears on you after a while. There are times like that at least once a day when they're both going at the same time, but there are also times when they are both taking a nap and the house is quiet and I can feel ok about things. I don't think I have a very "typical" situation here though. Which adds to my frustrations sometimes, but I know I'm not alone in the weariness of raising two young children! I also don't think most people have two children under the age of one! That makes it easy in some ways I guess, I don't have to deal with an extremely jealous or traumatized child, but I do have a baby that can't walk or talk and still takes a bottle so she is still very helpless at times. I can't explain to her why I can't pick her up whenever she wants me or that hitting sister isn't the right way to show her deep love and in turn she can't tell me what she wants without crying or squealing. Then we both get very irritated. And I'm getting up once or twice a night with Clara so I'm tired and Lily who usually sleeps until 7:30 or 8 has been getting up around 6 in the morning lately! Right after or when I'm feeding Clara her last or first bottle whichever way you want to look at it. Phil helps when he can and tells me to tell him how he can help, and he's such a good daddy, but he's not "Mama" and some things only I can do and sometimes I can't explain to him how I need him to help me so I get snippy and feel alone and unappreciated and angry. Yuk!

There's also not many places to get out and go to here in Bancroft so I'm stuck in the house a lot unless I go for a walk. Which I've been doing by myself in the mornings and that is really nice. If we go for a walk I have to load them up in our double stroller or wear Clara in my sling. This is ok. Yesterday though, Clara cried the whole time so we had to come home. I'm still learning the art of going out with more than one child. That requires a lot more junk to tote around. So be ready for that. And since neither of mine are walking, I try to make sure I'll have help. Our neighbors are really great at that. They watch Lily a lot and now come by before church to carry her over for me so I can take Clara. I sit with them in church so they can help there as well. We went to the library in a town near us on Monday and took the girls. They did pretty good. But it certainly isn't like going by yourself and just being able to get a book and read.

Your situation would be different in many ways from mine and you won't know what it's really like until you're going through it of course, but I guess I would say that like many things in life, it's a challenge and a blessing. Some days are bad some are good and some are great! There's a lot of figuring it all out as you go and learning to ask for help and I'm not the best at either of those. I'm also learning to relax about things that aren't as big of a deal as I think they are, like a dirty house, baby getting dirty from my dirty floor, dirty me cuz I haven't had the chance to take a shower in a couple days. There are times when everything feels off and like nothing that I think needs to get done will ever get done. Phil reminds me often that the girls are my priority. Everything else can wait. But I say, well, supper has to get made, laundry has to get done and for my sanity, this house needs some straightening up! It's hard to balance and overlook sometimes. Sometimes I miss being able to do what I want whenever, not having to make 10 bottles, load diaper bags and get kids in car seats just to leave the house. I miss sitting down with a cup of coffee and reading, going to bed when I'm tired, getting up when I want, having a nice quiet supper with my husband every night! As they say and as I know now, having children changes everything! Is it all worth it? Most definitely. Like most parents, I can't imagine not having these little people in my life. When I do get time alone I find myself thinking about them and missing them! Watching Lily grow and learn and develop has been one of the most amazing things in my life second only to my husband loving me despite myself oh and Jesus saving me. The giddy proud feeling you get when you see your baby wave goodbye to someone or roll over for the first time is so great and crazy that such "small" things can do that to you but they do. And Lord willing you'll have a lifetime of watching this person change and grow! What a gift!

Ok, sorry to go on and on, but you asked! I hope the Lord brings some little ones to you and Jud soon. You guys have so much love to give and those children whoever they are will be blessed to have you as parents. Neither of you will always parent perfectly or even well all the time of course, but I know you'll both do your best and that's all we can do. I'll be praying for you guys during this process and the waiting. Let me know how it's going when you can. And please talk to me more about parenting when you want. It can feel lonely sometimes and someone to talk to is quite therapeutic!

I love you Pudge!
Aubbeez